~ Sweetdreamzz.. ~

Haiz.. it has been a long long time since i last wrote an entry.. just finished reading half the notes for Thermal properties and came online to see minyan's blog.. minyan.. sorry.. i din noe that you were so sad and i din even try to console you.. haiz i think what you said is very true.. you jiu you mei you jiu mei you.. sometimes you juz cant get the things that you want.. but you also cant force things to go the way you want.. thinking abt bgr.. i really feel that i am one who un really noe how to grab opportunities.. just them go.. then iwill keep regretting.. i really dink i am this sort of person... keep thinking too much and stoning in the end.. i dunno leh.. my urge to see him still as strong leh.. like during hc maf.. i really wante to see him.. and issit coz we dun have yuan fen.. keep seeing other pple.. including pple from our class.. tf.. wl.. just dun get to see him.. then later wanying msged him .. he said he actually left.. but then he came back later.. haiz.. just stood behind us neva talked again.. i din have the chance to start a conversation too.. come to think of it.. i guess i am too zi zuo duo qing.. very silly right... liking someone when you noe that he does not have feelings for you.. i noe he likes siti.. so obvious ... keep looking out for her.. that's why everytime i seee her.. i feel very xin suan... i dink i am damn silly.. sometimes i wonder why i like him.. he does not seem nice as before.. or issit becoz i am starting to see the ugly side of him.,,i keep finding reasons within me... last time he seems rather quiet an serious not as childish as the other chi high pple.. do things also quite xi xin.. it is the way that he does things that attracts me in the beginning.. dunno leh.. when i look at him.. i somehow have that kind of feelings for him.. like what wl said.. he said the first time he saw shijia he also have that kind of feelings for her... dunno lah.. i am just stupid... one-sided kinda things cannot work... i guess he actually hinted right.. through shijia.. sayting i can find someone better.. long long time ago.. and having someone in mind liaoz.. i was wondering if he was already directing that to me at that time... very high possibility.. but my sec sch frenz told me it is still good if he did not try to avoid me when he noes that i like him.. if he does.. it is even worse.. that would mean that i dun even have any chance..dunno lah.. i am always wondering what he feels after he noes abt me liking him..always wondering wat he is thinking.. abt me...arrhh.... i am wasting so much time on boliaoz things... what am i doing... keep daydreaming... cannot.. muz MUGGG.... dunwanna tokabit it liaoz.. i shall go and continue studying.. feel so much better now.. i have kept all these feelings for a very long time... i feel i am so stupid.. liking someone who does not like me...