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WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG????
posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 8:16 AM

haiz... my dear blog.. i dink it has been dunno how many donkey years since i last touched my blog... haiz.. these few daes feel very lost.. like going spending my life with no aim.. no acheivement.. no sense of belonging to anything.. no nothing.. everything seem so sian.. so dull... dunno lah... so sad.. feel so stressed also.. cried a few times liaoz.... LIFE IS SO SIAN.... seem to have lost myself... seem to dun understand myself..cannot concentrate on anything..cannot even think properly when i do work.. keep thinking about canoeing i dink.. dunno lah... am i suffering from depression?? i also dink i dun feel toking too... tok so much lesser than before... guess i am really too stressed,.. things just dun go smoothly.. dun go the way i want... the most terrible feeling is to feel alone... somehow i just feel alone.. frenz ard me but i just feel alone... why????? i have neva felt so down before... HOW?? arhh.... hope i can get over with this period soon... i cannot standd it...
posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 7:08 AM

wow.. long long time neva update blog liaoz..today me and grace clocked 1:29:13 for five rounds.. i think it is a little slower than the pprevious training.. the one i rowed with seok.. but it is alright.. as long as we give in our best.. grace.. JIA YOU!! i noe she was having breathing problems during certain parts of the rowing.. but she pushed herself to do better.. good, grace! We will work hard and put our heart and soul during the marathon.. i noe we can! must dink positively.. like wat i saw at greatday.com...

Bring out the positive
On any given day, there are many more positive things that happen to you than there are negative things. Yet often it can seem very much to be the other way around.
Ironically, that's because the good and positive things are so common, so much a part of life, that you often fail to even notice them. In contrast, the negative, troubling things get your attention precisely because they are relatively unusual.

Unfortunately, by giving so much awareness and attention to the negative things, you also give them strength and support. Obviously that's not really what you want.

Instead of letting the small number of difficulties grab all your attention, work to become more aware of the overwhelmingly large number of good things. Challenge yourself to compile a list in your mind, as the day goes on, of at least 20 good, positive, valuable things that come your way.

Most people, when asked to make a list of their troubles, would quickly be able to name dozens of things. Yet when you start looking instead for your blessings, and keeping a mental record of them, what you discover will positively amaze and delight you.

Put a little effort into bringing out the positive, and it will bring out the best in you.

-- Ralph Marston




posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 6:49 AM

wa lau... damn pissed off today... long time neva tok abt him liaoz.. my gp tutor din come today.. gave us some work to do.. but i left earlier.. went to the library to meet farhana and yu fang.. farhana was telling me that ch told tf that he dinks that every time i go for class outing is to see him.. he actually dinks that the purpose of going me for class outing is coz he is going.. who cares wherther he is going or not.. i din even bother to askpple if he is going or not.. he is so bhb.. dinks he is so great issit.. so charming, so attractive issit.. cant stand him anymore..strongly feel that i kan cuo le ta... cant believe i will like this kind of person.. can go out with wan ying on one weekend and with siti another week... luckily siti noes that he is playing with her feelings.. just for fun... she also dinks he is a jerk now... hopes wan ying noes how he is actually like... cannot imagine.. this kind of things can also play with.. can even play with gals' feelings... what kind of a guy is this.. sucks man.. i have spotted so many negative points in him these few weeks.. just that i din show or say it out.. but today.. i really cannot stand it anymore.. why do i like such a person in the first place.. bu yao lian de ren...so superficial.. even wanna keep virginia's photo.. making duy worried.. he is a jerk man... he is far from what i tot he was in the beginning... spoilt the impression he gave me.. utterly disgusted and disappointed with him... really hate this kind of person.. at first i tot he is one with is good to everyone.. polite.. now i see how he criticise things.. how he comments on things and people... how he look put for gals... oh man.. dun wanna mention too many bad things abt him...oh yar.. yesterday when he heard that we are going to do self training.. me wanying and min yan... he even said er xin.. dun even respect people.. what's wrong with people doing self training.. no feng du... haiz.. wu yao ke jiu..
posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 6:08 AM

heyz.. found this from greatday.com.. it has daily motivators... quite meaningful.. and nice to read...

Staying positive
It's easy to be positive when you're reading or listening to something positive, or when you're in pleasant, peaceful surroundings. But how do you stay positively focused when there is confusion and despair all around you?
First, realize that staying focused on the positive possibilities is almost always the best, most effective way to respond to even the most negative situation. It doesn't mean ignoring or denying the very real difficulties which are present, but rather focusing on the most positive, productive responses to them.

Next, line up your intentions with your understanding that a positive perspective is realistically the most effective perspective no matter what the circumstance. Then take your intention and your commitment to being positive one step further and act on it.

Once you experience the very real power and grace of staying positively focused in a negative and challenging situation, it makes an impression on you. Keep that experience in mind, and the next time your positive focus comes more easily and naturally.

Soon, what was once an act of faith can become a matter of habit. The more you remind yourself to stay positive, the less you will need to be reminded.

The world is filled with difficult challenges. When you see for yourself the value of a positive response, you'll acquire a powerful tool for meeting those challenges.

-- Ralph Marston


posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 7:16 AM

hehe.. at yu fang's house now.. wow.. her comp is far better than my comp.. much faster.. me in a very good mood today.. very relaxed.. also dunno why.. can act naturally in front of him too.. hope i can feel so good everyday.. haha.. faizal din come today... hope that he does not come everyday.. i noe i am very bad lah.. but too bad.. just dun want him to teach us leh... so sianz..
so shuang.. can leave school so early.. tf was still asking me whether i wanna go esplanade or not... asking me from the lt to linkway there.. also asked shijia and min yan...then i asked him who else is going... he was hesistating and said farhana in thge end... haha.. of course right.. hehe.. i dun wanna be gooseberry.. so said directly.. i dun wanna go.. haha.. can see he was quite sick of us toking abt the both of them liaoz...dunno lah.. can sense that he does not like farhana.. like dun wanna go to esplanade with her alone...dunno leh..dunno what's going on bet the both of them..
haiz.. tml macritchie run.. actually quite worried.. must tell myself i can do it... since i can survive the previous one.. i can also do it this time round.. must tell myself this is nothing compared to the ironman... HEART and SOUL.. still remembered how Mr Yong encouraged me that day... sunday.. he said.. i am behind you.. so i must dink this way too.. all my teammmates are behind me... all the way..everybody jia you! Follow your own set of beliefs and fulfill your dreams.. and you will lead a happy life! Believe in yourself... :)
posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 2:13 AM

went to Shijia's house after finishing project... haiz.. thatstupid project.. have neva done such a boring project before... ah...i hate faizal...he picks at any fault he sees... criticize this and that... cannot stand him...dun even want to help his students..i really hope we can change ct next year..
Haiz.. i dink was too stressed liaoz... this afternoon... so silly to cry.. haiz... actually i was dinking too much abtme not training.. and juniors... i really feel i am so lousy... and i am so slack.. haiz.. shiyun was asking me to train.. but i was trying to print my project... then ming jing told me to remember what she told me.. i noe it is for my own good.. dunno lah...just feel very stressed at that moment.. all the things just rushing into my head.. i dink i can understand how shijia feels liaoz.. just feel so stressed up.. somehow..i feel i cannot really joke with mj... can tok quite a lot to others in the girls' team.. but i feel a barrier between me and her... jjust like what eeshi feel.. hope we will get closer one day.. i must train hard hard now.. listen to what she said... do more trainign at home... like push ups...crunches..skipping.. come to think of it..i am really silly to cry..minyan.. shijia.. yu fang and wanying.. thanx for all your concern.. thanx for being by my side.. thanx a lot...
posted by *^kHaILeNg^* 10:03 AM

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